


Keep it on the Low

by null_vier



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Childhood Friends, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends With Benefits, If You Squint - Freeform, M/M, not quite bitter exes to lovers?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:15:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28351527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/null_vier/pseuds/null_vier
Summary: Sometimes, things need to break apart before they can come together the way they're supposed to.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 11
Kudos: 28
Collections: kbas secret santa 2020





	Keep it on the Low

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xies/gifts).



"What do you say, Lee Jeno? Will you grow old with me?"

Jeno looks into the eyes of the only person he's ever loved, the only person he can imagine loving at this point, and takes a steadying breath. An almost complete silence had come over the crowd gathered around them. Only hushing sounds rose above the muted white noise of the indoor diners, but they weren't as loud as Jeno's heartbeat, nor the hopeful look on the bright young face in front of him.

"Jaemin-ah, I'm sorry," Jeno begins. "I can't marry you."

⏪

"But alphas go with omegas, right?" Jaemin says. "My mom's an alpha, and my dad's an omega." With a snort, he drops his pencil into the spine of his workbook. "2 plus 2 makes 4."

"Not always!" Jeno protests, thinking about aunts and uncles of his who were most definitely not alpha-omega couples. He tears his attention away from his own workbook and pushes up his glasses to prepare a retort. "See--"

Too quick for Jeno to continue, though, Jaemin raises an eyebrow and asks: "what, you wanna go back to kindergarten and tell everyone they've been learning math wrong?"

Jeno can only roll his eyes. "Shaddup, you know what I mean." He shades in another tiny circle in his book as Jaemin chuckles at his own joke. "Just because someone's an omega, it doesn't mean they need to get married to an alpha."

Jaemin purses his lips in thought. It would be some time before they'd learn about the birds and the bees, so only a simple question comes to his young mind. "What about babies, then?"

Unlike Jaemin, an only child, Jeno had the fortune of having an older and brainier sister. Unlike Jaemin, he also had the misfortune of the same sister fancying herself as way older and dismissing half of his most burning questions with a "you'll find out when you're older." at Jaemin, Jeno shrugs, just as clueless as his friend. 

"I'm almost done," he says. When he turns to Jaemin and sees the other boy slumped over his desk, unmoving, he taps his pencil on Jaemin's arm. "You?"

"Yeah, I guess I am." Hastily shaded in circles meet Jeno's eyes as Jaemin dangles his book in front of him. "Whaddaya think? I'm ready for lunch, honestly."

"Dummy." Jeno taps at a spot on the page. "Number seven: the president is the head of state, not the prime minister. And we're just about to start first period." A glance at the wall clock of their classroom confirms it. He should review his answers soon.

"Ah, shoot!" Jaemin quickly takes an eraser to the error. "Maybe I should answer these things a little slower like you, Jeno. Even when I'm cramming." 

"Yeah, you should," Jeno replies, quickly scanning the rest of his answers.

A beat passes. "Say, Jeno."

Jaemin's voice is still light, but there's a shade of seriousness to his tone that Jeno can just barely perceive. He shoves his book all the way into his bag. "Yeah?"

"If we grow up to be alpha and omega--"

Now it's Jeno's turn to play obtuse. "It's one or the other, or beta. I don't think we can be both."

"You know what i mean!" echoes Jaemin. "If you're alpha and I'm omega, or if you're omega and I'm alpha--"

"I get it, I get it!" Jeno laughs, but he trails off when the rest of Jaemin's piece comes. 

"If that happens, shall we get married?"

Jeno considers the round-eyed and round-cheeked boy in front of him, smiling as if he had simply asked Jeno if they could have a sleepover as he did several times before. Jeno supposes that getting married would be something like that, a sleepover that didn't have to end. Jaemin is fun, and sleepovers with him are fun, so "sure!" is the answer Jeno gives, though he couldn't really care less about the stature of alphas and omegas.

⏩

Jeno would come to care just a little bit more years later, but only because he'd presented as an omega, and with that, took on the not so little problem of unwanted alpha attention.

"Why don't you give him a chance?" Jaemin tries to go for nonchalant, and even sounds dry, as he needlessly stirs his icy pitch black drink. In his eyes, though, is a wild look that seems to be challenging Jeno to give the right answer. What that is, Jeno couldn't tell. Alphas. 

Jeno shakes his head. Why was he even friends with Jaemin? When he isn't running his mouth off over something petty, he clams up and assumes things just when people need to hear from him.

Jeno chances a glance across the café at a table a few meters away, whose occupants had not so subtly been checking his and Jaemin's own table out. Unfortunately, that brief look has him locking eyes with the alpha who'd been relentlessly "paying court" to Jeno, as Renjun said. "Stalking" was how Donghyuck put it.

He turns back to Jaemin askance. With perhaps too much force, Jeno digs in again into the tiramisu he'd ordered (and which Jaemin had been sneaking bites from, despite Jeno's protests. never mind that they were half-hearted, Jaemin was trying to be more cute -- annoying -- than miserly.) "You know my mom would haul me over the coals if I got into a relationship and my grades took a dive and my chances of getting into a good uni--"

"Hey, hey, aren't you getting ahead of yourself here?" Jaemin's brow had furrowed for a moment, but now he's back to teasing Jeno. "It's not like getting into a relationship with supposedly the hottest guy in school is gonna ruin your life."

Jeno agrees, but his mom already thinks that the downfall of society -- more importantly, of Jeno's existence -- would be brought about by video games and--

Seeing Jaemin lick his lips, Jeno can't help following suit before he even realizes there are crumbs at the corner of his mouth. _Oh_."Hey." He puts down his dessert fork and pushes the rest of the tiramisu towards his companion. 

Jaemin on his part gives an affected gasp, "for me?", and tucks in with delight.

Seeing him and his enthusiasm fills Jeno with tenderness, and the resolve to carry out the next step. He reaches for Jaemin's free hand, just resting gently on the wooden table, and grasps it firmly in his own.

"Be my boyfriend?"

Jaemin nearly chokes on the confection, but to his credit, doesn't pull his hand away. "What?"

"Na Jaemin, I'm asking you to be my boyfriend." He keeps his voice low and tries not to move his lips too much. His "suitor" Lucas probably isn't at lip-reading level in Korean, but Jeno's got to play it safe. "Just act like it, in public, so I can appear to be spoken for."

It takes a moment, in which Jeno runs a nervous thumb over Jaemin's knuckles, for things to sink in. When they finally do, an impish grin spreads across Jaemin's face. Suddenly Jeno feels like _he's_ the one getting sucked into one of Jaemin's plots.

"Play the driven, smart, talented, overall amazing, not to mention _handsome_ Lee Jeno's boyfriend? Why, it would be an _honor_!" Now Jaemin's got his other hand on top of Jeno's. 

Jeno scoffs, trying to ignore the bothersome fluttering in his stomach. "Ugh, sure, lay it on thick, why don't you?" He starts to pull away, but Jaemin holds fast, and drops a kiss on the back of Jeno's hand before letting him go.

When they share a full-bellied laugh, the thought of pretending to enjoy Jaemin's company for anyone's benefit leaves Jeno's mind entirely. He's never really had to fake it, anyway.

⏸

You know, my mom was kind of right about you. About us, I mean. Back when the news of us dating got out, she sat me down after dinner to have a talk. I really thought she'd get mad then, and I was completely ready to defend our decision. But she wasn't there to scold me or anything, but rather to caution me. She said we were too young to be in a relationship, we seemed to be moving too fast, and she'd be more comfortable as a parent, and an omega, if we waited until we were at least in uni before we got serious. It's not that she disapproved of you or the relationship per se, and even after she asked who asked out whom, and I answered honestly that it was me, she really handled the thing more calmly than I expected. I guess it helped a lot that we weren't really... err... physical... at that time, but then [laughs] I told her that I was confident that we knew what we were doing, and... hah. You can guess how she reacted. Just thinking about it now makes me cringe. It must have seemed like I was trying hard to sound mature, but at the time I truly meant what I'd said, and I wasn't posturing at all. 

Anyway, I guess in the end, we didn't really know what we were doing. At least, I didn't. and being asked at barely 22 if I was ready to settle down and spend the rest of my life with the only person I'd ever known that well... that was a lot, you know? Call it cold feet, but I didn't think either of us were _ready_ for that kind of commitment, no matter what our feelings were. There was, is, just so much ahead of us, and I didn't want either of us to miss out on anything great just because we've been so wrapped up in each other. You made this grand speech about how I was the one for you... but what if I wasn't? How could either of us know for sure that we were meant to be together when we never seriously looked outside of the little bubble we had created for ourselves? And the thing is, Jaemin... until that evening, I didn't even know with absolute certainty what it was you felt for me. I didn't how you saw me. Even when we started living together as roommates in uni, even when you helped me through all those unbearable heats... As far as I knew, and as far as you would express, we were just friends all along. I had the sense that you loved me. You wouldn't have cared about me so much otherwise. But there's a kind of love between friends, too, right? Even expressing it verbally... you would drop "I love you" so casually with our other friends, that when you said it to me, it wasn't clear how you meant it.

[sighs] I don't expect you to respond to these tapes, but... honestly, I would appreciate it if you would. In any case, as I said at the beginning of the first one, it turns out that I had a lot of things I wanted to say. I used to think that because we've always understood each other so well, we didn't need to use so many words to communicate. The thoughts and feelings we shared, the most important things -- they didn't need to be spoken aloud for the both of us to know how much they mattered to us. But after you sprung that proposal on me, and also after you revealed soon after that you were enlisting in the military, I realized that we did have a lot of things to talk about. Again, I'm sorry it's taken me this long to reach out to you. I wanted to weigh my words carefully so I wouldn't burden you unnecessarily and cause you more pain. I was shocked and upset by what you'd done, by the assumptions and plans you'd made without ever involving me, as if we were no different from the alpha supremacists we would criticize for toxicity… Sorry, I got off track there, but my point is, _all that_ happened, but ultimately, none of that changed the fact that you've always been an important person to me, and that I--

I hope the next time we meet... if I get lucky enough to cross paths with you again... we can greet each other warmly. I hope you're staying healthy over there and that training isn't too hard on your body. At the very least I hope having to serve in the military has taught you to be a little more snappy. [laughs] You used to move like molasses in the morning every day before classes, even after them.

Oh, if you flip to the other side, you'll get a break from my ramblings [laughs]. I played around on the guitar and tried recording a few things with this old tape recorder. I must say, it's a hassle to fiddle around with all these buttons -- I don't know how people did it way back in the day like, the 90s, -- but I still thought it was pretty fun! If you've gotten this far, you've probably gotten your hands on a tape player of your own, so you probably get what I mean. Anyway, I'll leave off here! Take care, Nana.

⏪

The breeze blowing across the han river is a relief on Jeno's warm skin, carrying the peachy balm of Jaemin's scent to him as well. He'd thought of spending the rest of the weekend in bed, or maybe blowing off some steam by thrashing Donghyuck and slash or Yangyang at some game, depending on his energy levels, but he didn't want to cancel on Jaemin and their scheduled bike ride. If today's symptoms are any indication of what the next week holds for him, Jeno would probably spend a lot of time at home, anyway. He didn't want to pass up on this chance to get out while he could.

"There you are," Jaemin drawls as Jeno pulls up to him. An apology is already on the tip of Jeno's tongue, but Jaemin beats him to it. "are you ok? you look kinda overheated already."

Jeno claps a hand to his face. It is still a bit warm despite the ride on the way to their meeting place. His second dose of suppressants for the day probably haven't kicked in yet. "I'm alright," he begins. "I just cycled a bit harder to get here faster." It was true. He did have to put in extra effort today to speed up because of the unusual heaviness in his body. "I'm good to go, though. Got water with me, and all."

Jaemin hums, though he sounds unconvinced. Still, he puts on his helmet and he pulls back his bike, letting Jeno take the lead, before hopping onto his seat. "you can set the pace and the route this time."

If Jeno's face wasn't red earlier, then it probably is now. _Is it ok for him to lead in this condition?_ He flounders. "Ah, today, i didn't really plan--"

"Lee Jeno." Jaemin's voice is pitched up and takes on a singsong tone as he cuts Jeno off. "You're the one in charge." Contrary to his words and his voice, though, Jaemin couldn't sound more commanding if he'd tried. "C'mon, so we can get started." No, actually, if anything he sounds more pleading as he goes on.

Jeno relents, but only because he sees now what Jaemin is trying to do. He didn't want to lead Jeno this time and possibly strain him, nor slow down to try to be more considerate but appear coddling as a result. "Alright, shall we take the next bridge up ahead and see where to go from there?"

Jaemin simply nods, and so they start ahead.

⏸

The two of them find themselves resting on a park bench, snacking on some ice cream. Jeno felt much better by then, but he wasn't one to turn down a treat from Jaemin, either.

The other boy is halfway through his cup when he moans at his latest spoonful, and it sounds so... wrong, that a violent jolt passes through Jeno's body. He suddenly can't remember if Jaemin has always eaten food this weirdly, or if today is just Jeno's (un)lucky day. either way, Jeno is willing to bet it's that time of the month that has his senses attuned to everything Jaemin today. 

Even back at their starting point, Jeno felt inexplicably drawn to Jaemin, who had simply been standing there in the afternoon sun with the wind tousling his hair and his shirt. It was almost like seeing Jaemin again for the first time, back after the last summer break when Jaemin seemed to have shot up like bamboo and his voice had fully broken, as if he had grown even more attractive overnight. _Cute_ was a word Jeno and pretty much everyone else had always associated with Jaemin, but _attractive_ was new and something else -- yet no, even back in primary school, when the two of them had actually met for the first time, the way Na Jaemin had smiled at a shy Jeno and made him feel at ease with his openness, he was attractive. Jeno simply had not been able to leave his orbit since.

His musings are interrupted when Jaemin comments on the ice cream. "The choco balls here are the best part, really. I don't think there could be a better flavor than this."

Something cold drops into the pit of Jeno's stomach, and it can't be the last bite into his ice cream bar. It's far too heavy and dense. "Ah, if Donghyuck were here, he'd be riffing on that already." He could just imagine the boy in question batting his eyelashes at Jaemin, probably hooking an arm around Jaemin's neck to pull him into a kiss--

"Donghyuck?" Jaemin repeats. "What d'you mean?"

"You know," Jeno bites back, already regretting his decision to bring up their friend. "That's what you've been calling him lately, right? Choco ball." Since Donghyuck transferred to a performing arts institution for high school, he's seemed to have only grown more outgoing, and he and Jaemin only closer in spite of their in-person time being significantly cut down since middle school. He was intrigued when Jeno revealed the fake dating plot, but Jeno chalked that up to the patented Lee Donghyuck Nosiness. Now, he can't stop himself from wondering if Donghyuck might have been seeing his, _Jaemin's_ actual single status in a different light.

Jaemin blinks once before going, " _oh_ ", and Jeno does _not_ like the way he said that.

Jaemin shifts across the bench. Jeno had been intent on savoring his ice cream without letting it drip and go to waste, but that objective is quickly forgotten when he tastes the sweetness on Jaemin's lips. Dark chocolate melts with the honeydew on Jeno's tongue for a long (and equally too short) moment before Jaemin suddenly pulls away.

Jeno had gasped. The little that remained of his ice cream bar is now all over his fingers and on his jeans, even on the pavement. "Shoot." He springs up then, taking the opportunity to get away from Jaemin and hide his burning face by searching for a trash bin. Maybe when Jaemin isn't looking, and if the thing is big enough, he could climb in and hide there till the end of his days, or Monday -- whichever comes first. They're practically the same anyway. 

The nearest bin turns out to be too small, unfortunately, but it's by the restrooms, also equipped with outdoor taps. _Good enough._ Jeno rinses off his sticky fingers after disposing the used popsicle stick. When he turns a discreet gaze back towards Jaemin, he sees the other boy slumped back against the bench, face towards the sky. He looks for all the world as if he had simply dozed off.

He straightens up as Jeno approaches, though. "Gotten yourself cleaned up?" he smirks.

In retaliation, Jeno flicks the remaining droplets on his hands. "What was that for, anyway?" he demands, in spite of himself.

Jaemin has the gall to look affronted. "What? I can't tell my boyfriend that he has no reason to be jealous?"

"Who's jealous?" Jeno rummages in his backpack for tissues, refusing to look Jaemin in the eye. "And hah, you mean _fake_ boyfriend." 

The main point of Jeno setting all of this up, allowing Jaemin to cling to him in public, to bring him whole home-cooked meals, and to just pour his limitless affection on Jeno, is moot now. With Jeno being apparently taken, and by Jaemin, an alpha, at that, no one really bothered Jeno any more. Jaemin was aware of it, too. Yet, for some reason, neither of them has yet to put a stop to the little public rituals they developed -- from Jeno handing Jaemin water or towels in sports class to waiting up for Jaemin at the end of the school day whenever he dawdles with his belongings -- come to think of it, Jeno isn't sure that any of that is new. Nothing had dramatically changed between them since that day in the café, so there wasn't exactly anything contrived that had to stop. Sure, Jaemin became more showy, but that was just an extension of the kindness he's always shown Jeno.

Jeno… well, he reaches for Jaemin's empty ice cream cup without much thought. "Sorry, lemme get that. I should've thrown it away earlier too."

Jaemin doesn't hand it over. Instead, he takes Jeno's used tissue. "Nah, let me. It's no trouble at all." His voice had turned flat, with a sharp edge to it, just like the thin line of his mouth. Jeno's stomach drops. Before he can say anything, Jaemin is already several steps away, and by the time he returns, he's back to looking as if nothing had happened.

"Done!" He chirps. "Shall we go, Mister Lee?" He smiles at Jeno, and it's so bright that it lightens the weight on Jeno's chest. When they head for their bikes, Jaemin falls in step with Jeno, not even leaving a gap between their shoulders. Jeno might have messed up, but all appeared to be forgiven. Maybe another day, he'd clarify this whole thing with Jaemin...

▶️

When Jeno tucks his mortarboard under one arm and what he thinks is the last bouquet of flowers under the other, he's just about ready to head off with his family and friends for lunch. His stomach had been complaining for a while, and it was only because of a packet of biscuits, tucked into his dress pants at his mother's insistence, that he had been able to last till the end of the ceremony. Breakfast was only a pair of bread slices washed down with a glass of milk (also consumed only because of his sister's prodding), so Jeno had been pretty much running on empty.

Yet it's not the lack of food that gets Jeno's gut churning at the gates of the campus. A certain Na Jaemin, with pink cheeks and warm eyes in the chill of February, stands waiting with his own bouquet in his arms.

"Hey," is the only thing that comes to Jeno. It leaves him in a breathy rush, too, just skimming the surface of his yearning. This isn't the first time that he and Jaemin have seen each other since the latter enlisted, but the last time, they had also had company. As it was, Jaemin was on a short break to see his family, and so there was no chance for the two of them to talk... but now...

The tiny smile on Jaemin's face widens into a full grin. "Hey," is also his answer. "Congratulations on graduating!" He spreads his arms, and the space between them is still barely wide enough when Jeno throws himself into Jaemin's tender warmth.

Donghyuck squawks at the other bouquets, plus Jeno's cap, falling to the ground, but Jeno pays no heed. Instead, he takes a moment to breathe Jaemin in, all peach blossom sweetness on the surface and deepening into something earthy and musky at this proximity. He didn't realize how much he needed this, needed Jaemin, until they had to part.

His throat is tight, and he tightens his grip around Jaemin's torso before speaking. "I didn't think you could make it."

Jaemin chokes on air, or maybe just his laughter. "I saved up my vacation days so I could leave early, hehe."

At that, Jeno finally pulls away from the hug. "God, that's why you were asking about the program details!" He whirls to face the rest of the group. "And all of you--"

"Yes, yes, we were in on it. Again." Donghyuck rolls his eyes. "Now, can we put this heartwarming reunion on hold and get moving? Injunnie and I don't have all day, and I'd really like to get some premium meat in my system before my birthday rolls around."

That gets a round of laughter from everyone but Jeno, who tries his best to look scornful. "Pfft. celebrity disease, really."

"Diagnosed at birth, baby." Donghyuck pushes the forgotten flowers into Jeno's chest before donning Jeno's mortarboard. He leaves Renjun's side to pull Jeno and Jaemin into an arm each and finally lead everyone out of the gates. "If you behave, I might even let our manager pass along complimentary tickets to the next DongRen concert."

"How flattering," Jeno and Jaemin chorus.

Before they clamber into the family car, Renjun pulls Donghyuck back by the scruff of his neck. "You're not letting noona sit in the back seat, are you?"

Jeno's sister laughs good-naturedly as Donghyuck fights back. "Of course not! What do you take me for, some kinda cad?"

Of course, that just means that Jeno ends up sitting right next to Jaemin in the first row. Their thighs are pressed flush against each other, despite the ample room, and Jeno chilly hand aches with the urge to touch Jaemin. At some point during the drive, Jaemin's hand turns, palm up now, as if in invitation. Jeno looks up to see Jaemin watching him expectantly, and now Jeno is sure. He doesn't care if his sister is on his other side, he fits his fingers in between Jaemin's, and Jaemin's curl around his hand.

Jeno's dad speaks up just then above the others' chatter. "In a couple more years, it'll be our Jaeminnie's turn to graduate. Jeno-yah, maybe you should've enlisted together so we'd have double the celebrations!"

Jeno shares a look with Jaemin and they simply smile. "It's OK, Dad. I'm sure we have the rest of our lives, and more celebrations, to share."

⏺️

**Author's Note:**

> To Cony: Hello! Happy holidays/winter break/end of 2020! I hope you've been taking this time to rest and recharge, and I hope you like the little nahyuck I tried to incorporate here ;; 💚 I had fun writing this, so hopefully you've gotten some enjoyment out of this fic too 💚
> 
> Thanks to K and Z who held my hand!!! 💖 Extra thanks to the best mod, who organized this and was super patient with me 💖💖💖
> 
> Squares used:  
> unresolved sexual tension (kinda)  
> fake dating  
> mutual pining  
> Bad Decisions TM (c/o na jaemin mostly)  
> bitter exes to lovers (not quite bitter)  
> A/B/O  
> friends with benefits (if you squint)  
> canon divergence (kinda? renhyuck are idols in this AU unlike nomin lol)  
> idiots to lovers (I MEAN)  
> happy ending


End file.
